My Struggle with Finding The Unaltered and Unfiltered Voice
Dear Reader,
My latest story on YouTube, Chasing Sunset in Mumbai is out and I don’t mind if you skip watching it. I’m not happy with the way it turned out.
The Visual Journal
I don’t exactly remember when I made my first video. It has been more than a year and ever since then, this whole thing that includes going out, being at new places, talking to random people and putting together all of it as if I were making a visual journal, has become a significant part of my thoughts.
And it had made me restless a lot of times and every time it did, it gave me ideas for something new or an improvement. And that was why I gave in to this new idea I had a few days ago.
Stories without dialogue?
Unlike the usual stories I make, the one above doesn’t have any dialogue. I had this idea to try no-dialogue videos and debated and reasoned with myself about it.
Even though I wasn’t sure, I thought giving it a try is the only way to know how it would be different from my other usual stories.. not the final result but I was more curious about how the process would differ(will it feel less effortful and reduce the friction?)
Now that I’m done with it, I realized this isn’t for me. At least not as regular videos. This new trial also made me retrospect on this whole video thing..
Not so interesting beginning
Before this whole obsession with camera and videography came upon me, I remember having access to cameras and I never really held them with any sort of wonder or passion that I have now for them. I was of course interested in photos, but it’s pretty much how any average person would be.. nothing more, nothing special, nowhere close to an obsession.
MUNDANE PHOTOGRAPHY IN MOTION
But fast forward to 2021, it’s a whole different story.. and if I had to give what I’m Interested in a name, I would call my work, MUNDANE PHOTOGRAPHY IN MOTION, the opposite of viral and it isn’t something for a wide audience.
Coming back to the new video and a couple of recent ones I made, it has made me feel I’m not being true to what I really want to make. I’m taking what I capture, giving them a mere commentary and I’m taking this work and twisting it with intros, outros and a few other changes to make it ready for the platform.
Something’s missing..
I don’t exactly know what my style is but whatever I put out today doesn’t feel like mine.
Even though I like it a bit if I force myself to watch it with a neutral mind, it still lacks perspective.
I also observed how other things from other areas of my life affect the amount of perspective I add to the stories I make and share. In some stories, it’s just a commentary of events and observations with anything more left out intentionally. In some, however, I manage to let things out.
Unfiltered voice
I wish I could feel the way I do now every time I make something because this strong feeling urges me to bring out my voice, without letting it be silenced or altered and create something which even if turns out bad, would still feel original and satisfactorily mine.
My next story would have been about my outing to a spot before sunrise(Chasing Sunrise, which also failed, thanks to the rainy weather). But I am going to read this letter out instead even if the visuals may not get along with these words.
But I doubt what I feel now stays for long. There is a chance of me waking up with a shifted mind that feels my existing way of making stories is the way to go..
If only I can bottle this restlessness that advocates for a free voice and take this same energy every time..
Thanks for reading, dear Reader!
Best,
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